COLD AS ICE

I make no bones that I think winter is about as useful as a rubber crutch. This Ozark Farm Chick is a summertime gal. I thrive in my biker shorts, cute little tees and flippies. I adore workin' my acre of flower gardens and afternoon dips in my swimmin' pool. Ya know, the things dreams are made of. This winter has been colder than a cast iron commode on the shady side of an iceberg and I have not hidden the fact that 'Nezzy' has not been a happy camper. With that said, of all things I could collect... I collect snowmen!!! I know, that makes me about a crazy as a sprayed roach but I love the little cold~hearted fellas. You will fine 'em nestled into every nook and corner of the Ponderosa's homestead from the edge of Autumn through the early stages of Spring.

Woohoo!!! It's Deep Clean Friday and I've been busier than a set of jumper cables at a Redneck picnic. Yep, faucets sparkle, furnace filters cleaned, floors shine and the dust mites are gaspin' for air. Ya'll know how clean rocks my world but as I was cleanin' I had little eyes givin' me cold hard stares. I'm thinkin'...it might be time to put my crystal gents with the carrot noses away, Spring bein' Sunday and all. Ponderin' on how each and every snowflake is as unique and individual as God made us, I carefully wrapped each snowman to be packed away. In doin' so I noticed that some of my snowmen have yellowed over the years while others are still pure white. Yellowed kinda like us when we allow sin into our lives. Psalm 51:7 says "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." Now, I can't take the aromatic plant hyssop used to clean in ancient days to wash away my sins but this plant was also used in religious rituals in comparison to the blood of Christ. That's somethin' this chick can wrap her brain around! Now, if that don't put the pepper in the Gumbo!!!

Ya'll know that goin' to church doesn't make ya a Christian anymore than standin' in a garage makes ya a car. Far to often we are yellowed with unkindness we show others instead of reflectin' love of Jesus. Our hearts can become as stinkin' cold as the little snowmen I just packed away. Spring is upon us, a time of rebirth and new beginnings. I don't want to be like the 1977 British~American band Foreigner who sang "Cold as Ice" on their Billboard Hot 100 list record. As the warm rays of the sun melts winter's remnants from the earth, I yearn for The Son to warm my soul allowin' me radiate the warmth of His precious love. I want to be a servant, a warm lovin' child of God. I want it to never be said of me that "she was...Cold as Ice!!!"

THREE BLIND MICE

It's colder than a two day corpse in an ice house and the multi~layers of frozen glaze on the ground range from freezin' rain to fluffy wet snow. Here on the Ponderosa we feed critters....all sorts of critters. This is one Ozark gal who feeds wild birds year round. Rocky the squirrel always has an ear of corn hangin' on the big Oak tree to nibble when a cravin' strikes him and Tiger the Wonder Dog continuously enjoys a full meal deal. The cattle always have well rounded meals and the donkeys tummies are plump. I have to admit I've seen,'coon, 'possum, skunk, armadillo, coyotes, deer, wolves, big cats, lost horses, neighbors buffalo and yes even bears takin' advantage of our generous portions but there is one thing 'round these parts that is about as welcome as an outhouse breeze in the heat of summer are mice. Even worse are their giant kissin' cousins 'RATS'!!! Big fat furry bold overfed rats!

I would walk around the place doin' chores hearin' little movements 'round the foundation. Since the place is surrounded by active birds, lizards and who knows what that will sun on my steppin' stones on a warm day, I truly didn't give it a second thought 'til one day after unloadin' my supplies I noticed somethin' dart by outta the corner of my eye. Bein' the curious chick I am I decided to make like Nancy Drew (didn't ya just love those books???) to take the watch and wait approach. Much to my surprise a well fed rodent zipped straight to Tiger's dog dish grabbed a kibble, devoured it then helped himself to more. Since Tiger wasn't present, 'cause he was at my Mother~in~Love's runnin' with her dog Bobby (Kinda like Dumb and Dumber, did I ever mention that Tiger is about as sharp as a bowl of mashed 'taders???) I removed his dish from the scene. I offered up a delightfully delicious dish of green Decon pellets and impatiently waited. Heaven help me here... I'm not a patient kinda gal! Almost immediately I had three rats feastin' on their poisonous banquet. I watched them devour three large Jiffy Peanut-butter lids filled with Decon then after a playful game of tag 'round the tires of my car one of the little fellas curled up on my doormat and took a leisurely nap. This is the moment I picked up the phone and demanded Hubby to bring somethin' 'stronger' home 'cause I wasnt' havin' no 'Watch Rat' on my doorstep and the Decon was about as useful as buttons on a dishrag at this point!!!

The little furry fellas finished off my supply so I brought their platter in. The next time I passed by the French door there stood three fuzzy varmints searchin' for their dish lookin' in at me as to say, " oh please, pretty please Mam, may we have just one more morsel???" Later that day I put out the 'bait' that was used at our local feed mill to keep such critters at bay, surly that would be the death of my new found friends. Thanks Hubs, sorry for the bossiness but times like these call for a chick to be a bit demandin'. Heck, these Super Rodents were cartin' off my ten pound supply of Hombri Mini Blocks off faster than I could put 'em out. No doubt for the big orgy they were were plannin' to have above our family room that night. I made the little ferrous tenants my famous poison peanut-butter balls. Ya know the ones my dear DIL said, "If Mom kicks the bucket, were not takin' anything outta her freezer 'cause we'd be dippin' 'em in chocolate and eatin' them!!!! The ones that almost always insure sudden death but this time my deadly treat didn't work any better than a rubber-nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest. This was war!!! Somethin's eatin' my storage building!!! Really, gnawed a big old hole right through the thing and it has big thick wood siding. I purchased some Just One Bite, a warfarin free product as was the Hombre, and placed it everywhere. I made the peanut~butter balls outta it, I mixed quick set concrete and granola with it. It's been several days since I've heard the pitter patter of little toes or the gnashin' of teeth. Hopefully... I've seen the last of their antics!!!

This English nursery rhyme and musical round was published in "the Seconde part of Musics Melodie in 1609 by the teenage author Thomas Ravenscroff. We as humans are far too often as blind as those three blind mice. We walk around with blinders so busy and burdened with cares that we can't see the 'Light' that surrounds us every blessed day. God is our light but folks Satan is workin' overtime. He is out to steal our joy, ruin families and darken our days. Today I beg you to pause, take off those dark glasses and enjoy the rays of His real truth. Bask in the warm lovin' light that our Heavenly Father brings 'cause I sure don't want to end up in total darkness like one of those "Three Blind Mice!!!"

PRINCESS

Jezebel was the name his new baby sister would sport. After all, we were all told the anticipated baby girl's name was in the Bible. Her mom and dad primed her older brother to have a suitable answer for those pryin' kinfolk who weren't beyond pumpin' the innocent young lad for info. She was the baby who came to her mother in a dream and was given the name before conception in that very dream. She is a true princess, a notable archduchess and delights us in livin' up to her royalness. She is my Mini-me a true reflection of my young self. The uncanny resemblance is not only in looks but actions, abilities and mannerisms. So much so it sometimes scares the bejeebers out of this Ozark farm chick.

Honor Elizabeth is a continual joy to our family. Her name even glorifies God. Honor meaning integrity and Elizabeth meaning God is my oath. She kept quiet about her salvation for almost a year not wanting to hurt her daddy's feelings 'cause she now had another Father, her second Daddy. The little aristocrat even shared her brand new 'real' ballet slippers with her little sis. Her heart is big and her imagination is massively bigger. "Mama, when will my Kitties hatch?", she asked with her tiny outstretched hand filled with a smooth oval rock her brother had placed there convincing her it was a kitten egg. Her mama tossed the ripe kitty egg into the backyard never to be seen again. That was 'till a white stray Mama cat appeared during an Ozark ice storm delighting our girl that her kitty egg had indeed hatched. The egg not only hatched but the miracle feline gave birth to four fluffy fur balls in their garage that winter. As her mama found the last fuzzy babe a suitable home Honor discovered another kitty egg. Not takin' any chances the 'kitty egg' was sent home with that last kitten.

Honor celebrated her seventh birthday last month. Her party just happened to fall on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Now, if ya have never heard of this enthusiastically awaited yearly event ya don't know my adventurous Geek Son's family. They all dress up to the last eye patch and parrot. Yep, my grandsons have gone to church wearin' not only pirate garb but eyeliner! Pirate flags fly high on their house during this day and buccaneer signs are hung throughout. They have startled neighbors, delivery men and pets alike. Havin' a party on International Pirate Day kinda' cinches a birthday theme, don't ya think???

Well, that's it in the bag. No wait, that's Honor in the bag as toothless as a hillbilly after his first bar fight. Isn't she simply precious??? Melts you heart doesn't she? "You are my princess, you make me smile~~You make my life seem worthwhile," sang Elton John on his 1982 studio album Jump Up which featured the song "Princess". Honor is a special young lady who loves the Lord with all her heart and is always kind and considerate of others. Just like Elton I can proudly shout and sing I love you Hon, 'cause you are my "Princess"!!!

SEALED WITH A KISS

Abominable Snowmen, Yeti, Forodwaith, Yuki Daruma or just plain old Frosty the Snowmen all melt away like a big old triple scoop bowl of Cappuccino Chocolate Chunk ice cream when the toasty spring weather begins warm the frozen earth. A snowman is an anthropomorphic icy sculpture of a human. The first documented snowman was noted by Bob Eckststine in his book titled "Book of Hours" in 1380. The largest snowman ever recorded was in 2008 in Bethel, Maine who towered a grand twenty~two feet, one inch tall. Heck, these cold hearted fellas even celebrate their own holiday on January 18th known as World Day of Snowmen. I've made no bones about my own abomination towards those tiny frozen lace doilies floatin' from the sky or how I loathe the nuisance of feedin' critters and replenishing the woodpile in it's cold repulsive layers. Ya'll get the picture, I dislike snow intensely finding it most unfriendly but even to my surprise, I collect snowmen. I know.......isn't it a shocker?

Yep, this Ozark farm chick has 'em stashed everywhere. They come out before Christmas and hide in the ivy or hang around the fireplace. My little recipe holder snowman enjoys sittin' on my kitchen cabinet. They hang off doorknobs, hunker down in baskets and snuggle on the sofa in the living room. As much as I despise the snow I love all my little snowmen tucked in every nook and cranny of the Ponderosa's homestead.

Today as ya'll know is deep clean Friday. The day I enjoy chasin' those dust bunnies right out the door. The day germs are destroyed and everything shines brightly. Oh baby I've got the cleanin' bug bad but folks it's also Spring. Time to bring out the fresh garden pillows. Time to open the windows and air out the house. Time for the snowmen to be gathered and packed away safely 'till next year. I found myself singin' (I know that's hard for some of your to imagine...heeehehe!) that old 1960's song of Gary Lewis and the Playboys,"Sealed Withe a Kiss." "Though we gotta say goodbye for the Summer," I,m beltin' out as I pack these well rounded gents away thinkin' maybe just maybe as the last snowman is laid to rest and the box is closed it'll be "Sealed With A Kiss!"

HAPPY SPRING EVERYBODY!!!

Top of the morning to you

The weatherman has predicted a measureable amount of snow for tomorrow. As a critter watcher I recognize the signs of oncoming weather both in children and animals. This overcastted morning we have a cool wet feeling wind blowing out of the north. B-u-rrrrrrrrrrr!!! My fine feathered friends are chowing down the buffet of birdseed faster than a mule on skates. (not that I have ever seen a mule on skates, but it sounds like a lot of fun.) The cattle have their heads glued down to the mineral lick like a child with their first ice cream cone. Rocky the squirrel is stealing as much bird seed as the woodpeckers and blue jays will allow. All this activity tells me I better have a good wood supply and a warm fuzzy pair of socks because we are about to embark on a snowstorm. Now we all know how much your MaMa dislikes winter. The word hate is really not too strong. Yesterday I saw the bees buzzing to big oak tree with buds about to spring forth so I can endure one more winter storm. Only because I have the hope of spring arriving very soon. So today after I restock the wood supply, birdseed, dog and cat food, you will find me curled up with my fuzzy socks and the latest seed catalog dreaming of warm summer days.

You all have a happy and blessed day,
MaMa