Runaway

To say my best friend and I were naive or a bit green would be a vast understatement to say the least. We Teeny Town gals were honesty greener than frog snot the first few months of college life. Why, we had to scoop up our jaws when we heard our female coeds cussin' and ya could'a knocked the both of us over with a single feather when we saw our worldly peers light up. Don't get me wrong, we'd traveled and seen the bright lights in big cities of the world but we were still greener than green gourds through a goose!!!

We'd settled into our dorm room unpackin' all the absolute necessities of life. Things like jumbo hot rollers, our favorite record albums, Smith Corona typewriter and of course our mandatory high school gym suits. We'd been required to squat, run tires and climb that rope to the moon and back in these one piece beauties over the past four years. Yep, we were most prepared to be sophisticated college Freshmen.

Not only would this be the first day of our college physical education class, it was our first coed Phys Ed. class. This meant testosterone oozin' hunks would be involved. Filled with the hand sweatin' heart palpitatin' anticipations of any red blooded seventeen year old chicks, we suited up for the most important class of our freshman year. The two of us exited the dorm more excited than a couple of grasshoppers in a chicken coop.

We trotted 'cross the SMS Campus like we had arrived and knew what we were doin' directly into the McDonald Arena to meet our fellow classmates. Faster than a hunted deer can leap a fence our excitement turned to pure ghastly humiliation as we saw the others dressed in 'regular' tees, cut~offs and the like. Even our coach said, "girls you don't have to wear uniforms here." 'Just melt me in a puddle and let me evaporate right here. We had to walk all the way back to the dorm in those Jolly Green Giant gym suits. In public no less!!!!

After class we dashed behind bushes, clung to buildings hidin' like 007 himself. We stuck out worse than a pure white Charolais heifer in a field of black Angus cattle. Our hearts sank when we saw no matter which way we slithered, we could not avoid the OK Corral. Oh, just kill me now....I knew I was gonna die!!!!

The OK Corral was a wooden fence that ran down both sides behind the Student Union Building. The Corral was 'the place' studly fellas gathered to 'girl watch'. It was here the Teeny Town Green Girls were gonna have to parade by the hormonal males like models down a runway close enough to feel the gents breath and hear their most colorful (mostly concernin' green) comments.

Upon returnin' to our dorm room I vowed to burn my Jolly Green Giant suit to never be worn again. That's exactly what I did first trip back to the farm. My BFF obviously did not do the same. She kept it. Not only had she kept it, she sent me these pictures last year. To this day just lookin' at these PE uniform pics makes my blood rush turnin' my face hot brilliant red once again.


Del Shannon's number one song hit the top Billboard Hot 100 back in 1961 where it remained number one for four weeks. He sings in the Pop and R&B song of wonderin' why she ran away but this is one gal who will never forget why that day she and her friend tried to "Runaway!!!"

FALLING

Here on the Ponderosa I've fallen when it's been colder than a nuns toes on a ice packed ski slope and slicker than wet okra in a soapy sink. When my friends worry 'bout me fallin' out here in the middle of nowhere I just laugh 'cause in the cold months I'm padded better then the Michelin Man and simply bounce back up. Warm weather is a whole different story.

I did fall hard several summers ago when Farm Boy was outta state. It was hotter that a tire fire when I was haulin' mulch for my flower beds as I hung my Croc flippy on a rock and went down. I laid there rollin' in the dirt sweatin' like Richard Simmons to the oldies thinkin' I could lay there for days roast bakin' 'till tender in the sun and nobody would ever know. My kiddos have often joked about gettin' Mom one of those "I've fallen and can't get up thingies"....gee, 'could'a used one. I finally sucked it up and literally crawled to the house lickin' my wounds.

'Seems if there are grandkiddos involved, I'll fall to the floor faster than a speedin' ticket. Yep, give this Ozark Farm Chick a kid and I'll go down faster than a pregnant pole vaulter in lead tennis shoes. I'm usually the photographer but I've noticed most of the pictures taken of this chick, I'm crashed on the floor. It's just the way I fly!!!

When I'm with the grandkiddos I want to be present, right there in the middle where the action is and I'll fall harder than my sister's first attempt at Triple Chocolate Souffle' to get there. Bein' Grandma Muzzie makes my heart sing and my spirit soar. See me grinnin' like a mule eatin' cockeburs???

I'm well aware how abundantly blessed I am. Shoot, if I were any luckier I could sit on a fence and the birds could feed me. Isn't it wonderful to know as humans we don't have to be perfect. In life there are times we're gonna fall like a giant boulder off an overpass where the Father is immediately present with outstretched arms 'just waitin' to catch us with His unconditional amazin' love! Without Him in my life I'd be so helpless I couldn't pour the rain outta my camouflaged manure stompin' boots with a hole in the toe and directions stamped on the heel! I'm sayin'....

Well shut my mouth, God has blessed this rockin' Grandma with eight perfect grandkiddos and a heart to love each and every one like the first. I've fallen and fallen hard~ again and again. In 1977 LeBlanc and Carr sang these lyrics in their hit single, "I'm falling, woah, I'm falling , I'm falling in love with you." Just when I thought my heart was stuffed full as it could get, I found myself singin' these lyrics as each grandkiddo was added to the brood. Heck, there's even room in this overflowin' heart of mine to love God more and more each day. The heart's a miraculous organ that way.

It wasn't 'till 1980 when LeBlanc came to know Jesus that he realized the real power of love. It was then he began recordin' Christian themed music like "Say a Prayer" and "Person to Person." It's glorious when the love of grandkiddos washes over me like a warm shower and even better to feel the Heavenly Father's love saturate my very soul. This chick feels fine as creamed country gravy to know I'm loved so intensely that He will always be there for me when I'm "Falling!!!"


God bless ya'll!!!

THE GOOD LIFE

Farm livin' makes this Ozark Farm Chick happier than a gopher in a fresh plowed field! The directions to the Ponderosa may include words like miles, county lines, last or gravel road. We might of used the Big Blue tractor's loader as scaffolding a time or two. I've hosed the kids and myself off many a time before goin' in the house and Lacey or Frilly are the names of farm critters, not the latest Victoria Secret fashions. Early mornin' prayer often covers rain, cattle and crops but it's our life and I love it!!!!

Not to say farm life isn't hard and cash runs low before the next crop or calves are ready to move but if I won the Publishers Clearing House Sweeps tomorrow, you'd find Farm Boy and me still farmin' these Missouri hills and hollers.

Every once in a while somethin' truly special happens, somethin' unexpected....prizes of generous giveaways that thrill me more than a midget with nine inch stilettos. Something to make me shove the furniture back, do my happy dance and shout, "I won!!!"

Back in November I won this spectacular Holiday book by Matthew Mead over at Blue Bird Notes. Koralee is just sweeter than a warm bath filled with decant Belgian chocolate. I referred to this book time and again durin' the holidays. Koralee's charmin' blog is as beautiful as it is soothin'. I just love visitin' this special lady and know you will too.

Then when I thought life couldn't get any better, I won a $30.00 Kroger gift card over at Terra's place Sitting on an Oak. Oh, this girl's a precious treasure. Her blog is filled with informative ways to get the most bang outta your buck. Ya'll will find everything from couponin' tips to money savin' recipes there. Ya sure want to pop over and gab a great pointer or two.

Yep folks, I've been gratefully feelin' the good life. If I felt any happier, I'd drop my harp plumb through the clouds! Originally "La Belle Vie" this 1963 Tony Bennett song hit number eighteen on the U.S. Pop Singles Chart. This chick is richly blessed to live nestled smack in the middle of nowhere, lovin' Matthew Mead's Christmas book and enjoyin' the harvest of wild salmon, chicken breast and tilapia fillets I purchased with the Kroger gift card. I can sing that God has granted me to truly live " The Good Life !!!"

ENEMY'S CAMP (Guest Post)

Uglier than an August outhouse struck by lightin' and meaner than a sizzlin' skillet full of rattlesnakes, the demonic monster can rear it's satanic head when ya least expect it. The joy of a new life and the hope of a perfect family is every gal's dream . At least it was for this precious new mama 'till the wicked beast rocked her world like Teen Town on a Saturday night. This courageous woman geared up for battle armin' herself to fight the diabolical cancer of Malignant Pleural Mesothelioma.

Folks, I'd like to introduce ya'll to my guest poster. She's fought Satan himself and is here to tell her remarkable story. I'm pleased as punch for ya'll to meet Heather Von St. James, Mesothelioma survivor. Welcome sweetie...............


I've always viewed the world through rose colored glasses. This became an important aspect of my personality when I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 36. Nothing in my life had prepared me for that moment and I had an important decision to make: to choose between despair or to choose life.

I was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma 3 1/2 months after giving birth to my first and only child. It was November 21, 2005. I was unprepared to hear the words "you got cancer" during such a joyous time. Instead of wallowing in self pity and blaming the stars for my fate, I decided to keep my head up and continue viewing the world through rose colored glasses. I couldn't let down my baby. She had the right to be raised by her mother.
One thing that may surprise many people is the positive aspect of cancer. Naturally, it is one of the worst diagnoses you can receive but it really helped to change my life for the better. I wasn't going to allow myself to be a victim so I tried to treat the situation lightly. This would help to remove a lot of the fear of the diagnosis and give me a chance to help others by giving them hope. The world's best mesothelioma doctor was also there to give me the hope I needed to go on.

I actually gave my tumor a nickname: Punxsutawney Phil. My surgery was to occur on Groundhogs Day, 2006. Groundhogs Day became "Lungleavin Day" as this was the day I lost my lung. We still celebrate "Lungleavin Day" on the first weekend of every February. This is not a celebration of the loss of my lung but a celebration of my survival and a celebration of life and of defeating fear. It is a hopeful celebration and I look forward to it every year.

Another great positive of my cancer diagnosis is all the wonderful people I have met after my diagnosis and during my treatment. These people are some of the strongest, most hopeful and passion filled people in my life. They inspire me daily and keep me happy and hopeful. I have met other survivors of mesothelioma, people going through their treatments, people trying to inform the public of the dangers of this disease and many others. These people who I hadn't known before are now my friends.

As incredible as it may seem, my cancer diagnosis and survival has enriched my life by introducing me to these amazing people and giving my life more purpose. I hope to continue inspiring others and giving hope to other mesothelioma patients for years to come.

I have to confess, This Ozark Farm Chick is cookin' on the front burner today after readin' the the positive attitude of this beautiful strong woman. The odds were not in her favor and I know that Heather had to be scared as a sinner in a Ozark twister but this little lady has earned alotta stars in her crown. She's turned her bowl of lemons 'round and put Satan under her feet by dedicatin' her life to helpin' others with this horrific cancer. Please take time to visit this extraordinary gal at "The Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog. "



Thank you Heather for sharin' your miraculous story which has tugged at the heartstrings of others as it has mine. Just like Praise Workout who sang this amazin' worship song from the 1995 Brownsville Revival era, she knows ya don't have to be in Pensacola, Florida to stomp out the old devil. Heather can now truly sing that she's been to the "Enemy's Camp!!!"

God bless and keep you Heather and never let go of those 'rose colored glasses'!!!

THE TWIST

Other than bein' stickier than a three year old's cotton candy fingers at a three ring circus, the day began just like any ordinary summer Sunday. This chick get's up to put on her Bare Minerals face while Farm Boy fixes his weekly Big Top Breakfast. Hub's goes to check cattle while I clean the kitchen, make the bed and do my hair before walkin' out the door for church. Hubs teaches the Adult Sunday School Class while I teach a Pre~Teen Class then Kid's Church.

We often laughingly chant, "day of rest, day of rest, day of rest" while dartin' out to the car. Seems like our Sundays are busier than a one armed cab driver eatin' a meatball sub. The weatherman on the radio confirmed our day was gonna be hotter than an honeymoon hotel makin' the humidity stickier than a prickly cockebur. Just another day in the Ozarks. So we thought!

That Sunday evenin' we drove into Tiny Town to attend evenin' services we call 'Share and Prayer'. The meetin' was amazin' but we couldn't see the greenish~yellow tinted sky through the blue stained glass windows. 'Wasn't 'till Pastor George said, "it's lookin' really strange out here," we recognized that all too familiar eerie hew and decided to beat the storm home instead of stayin' in the safe confinement of the churches basement. We hoofed it to our car while the sky colored like a sea sick yellow Lab closed in on us.

We no sooner left the churches parkin' lot 'till the wind started blown like perfume through a High School Prom. Farm Boy turned into a skilled demolition driver as the hail and large debris began poundin' the car. Determined Hubby swerved this way and that down Main Street dodging large tree limbs and lawn furniture landin' in our path.

We turned down Wall Street and if anything, the violence worsened. Suddenly, I morphed into Jamie Gertz who played Dr. Mellisa Reeves in that 1996 Twister movie 'cause I vaguely remember turnin' to Hubs and sayin', "I gotta go Julia, we got cows!!!" This Ozark Farm Chick went through a tornado when I was five and they are my biggest fear. I gotta tell ya, between the hail, the limbs and the stuff in the road all I wanted was my Mama!

I realized the unrelentless storm was followin' us like a starvin' dog chases a meat wagon when we hit the highway headed toward the Ponderosa. We met a car flashin' lights warnin' us of limbs on the highway. Then a pick~up flashed us. Oh this can't be good...a tree!!! My panic didn't lessen as we swerved this way and that avoiding downed trees and giant limbs. The storm hung over our head like a three day hangover on a drunk no matter how fast we traveled.

I was scared baby, and desperate measures were in order. I've been known to remind God Himself that He can calm the storms. Shakin' harder than the Parmesan Cheese shaker at Pizza Hut, I prayed and prayed hard as we came to the end of the blacktop and entered our dirt road. Oh, Lord...please let us have a house!

Oh my goodness glory, what a mess things were. My cottage garden, birdhouses or bistro set will never be the same. Ya'll can only imagine what this did to my OCFD (obsessive compulsive flower disorder). I'd removed some of the large limbs before I snapped the pictures but we had a house. Praise God! One limb came right down the corner of the house with enough force to plant it deeply in the ground. God had answered my prayers...again!!!

Our lives may become tangled more than a ball of knittin' wool attacked by a litter of frisky kittens or twisted like a crown of thorns yet the Maker can pull us apart and put us all back together stronger than ever. He does it with ease and compassion no matter how violent the storms may come. All we have to do is ask, call his name or just simply whisper the name of Jesus. Yep folks, He loves us that much. How awesome is that???

Born in Spring Gulley, South Carolina, Ernest Evans was raised in the projects of South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with his parents and two brothers. Facin' the twist and snares of life he formed a street~corner harmony group at the ripe old age of eight. Life was not easy for this fella but God took his tangled life and molded him into a great performer of his time. It was his boss, Henry Colt, owner of Fresh Farm Poultry who tagged Evans with the nickname, 'Chubby'.



A great twist of fate is that Dick Clark invited 'Chubby' to do a private recording for American Bandstand. After completin' an excellent impersonation of Fats Domino, Clark's wife asked the young singer's name. Evans replied, "well my friends call me 'Chubby'. Clark's wife then substituted 'Checkers' for Domino. Hence the name...'Chubby Checkers'.

This hit song was released in 1960 from Checkers very unlikely twisted fate. Whether life becomes as twisted as big old elm tree's roots or it's the physical storms that scare the bajabbers outta ya, I'm so thankful we can call on the One who stills the waters when we tangle ourselves into "The Twist!!!"

God bless Ya'll!!!

HAPPY TOGETHER

Washer's spinnin, dishwasher's hummin, dryer's tumblin', all surfaces are dustless and even the Tidy Bowl man would be proud to float his boat 'round in the toilet. Yep folks, it's Deep Clean Friday where everything on the Ponderosa is spit shined, vacuumed and buffed to a shinny glow. I didn't want ya'll to think I'd fallen plumb off the hay-wagon and neglected the cleanin' over here. Ya'll know how cleanin' makes my heart sing and rocks my world but this Ozark gal wasn't deep cleanin' thirty nine years ago. Nope, I was gettin' all gussied up to marry the man of my dreams. Hey looky there...Farm Chick's got gams!!! Anybody remember Betty Grable?

January 6, 1973 was one horrifically ice covered day in the Ozarks. Funny how the day before we were all runnin' around in our shirtsleeves like it was summertime. The weather can sure change on a dime 'round these parts. Nothin' but nothin' was gonna stop these two moon~eyed soul mates from sayin' "I do!" We were swoonin' over each other worse than a boxer too darn dizzy to duck.

Our poor best man, Farm Boys big bro, ended up drivin' all night though the dreaded Ozark ice storm. My lovely flowers were delivered to the wrong weddin' and I received theirs. It was too treacherous for the professional photographer to travel from Springfield to Stockton so after askin' the guests to share we ended up with a few Kodak Brownie pictures to document our wedded bliss. Kinda like us our pictures are showin' a bit of wear and tear. Thirty nine years will do that to ya...ya know?

We toasted the big day with glasses filled with purple passion punch right after the mischievously handsome little ring barer stepped on my train rippin' it plumb off. Thank heavens for big old diaper pins!!! I would walk over hot coals in a heatwave for this fella. He fills my heart and makes my toes curl. For 39 years Hubs has been the tiptoe to my tulips, the icin' on my cake. Whew~fan me now, I'm still swoonin'! This Ozark Farm Chick has uncovered the secret to a long and happy marriage. Are ya ready? Grab a pen, ya might wanna take notes. It's double sinks and separate closets all the way baby!!!

Our marriage may have literally started out on a road more slippery than a freshly buttered ice-rink but I wouldn't trade the past thirty nine years for all the gold in Midas' treasure chests. Oops...my bad, I left out the most important secret to a successfully jubilant union. More important than a dog to a flea is the third person, God. He's hung in there like a hair in a biscuit through thick and thin blessin' us every step along our life's journey.

I can't control my love for this hunk of a Farm Boy any more than a cross eyed teacher can control her pupils. In fact we're both known to still be a bit moon~eyed. Studies show we have seven completely compatible soul mates out there in the universe. I don't buy it 'cause we sing, "me and you and you and me , no matter how ya tossed the dice it had to be." "The only one for me is you and you for me....So happy together!!!"



This Chick can shove the furniture back and do my famous happy dance while beltin' out the 1967 song 'The Turtles' recorded knockin' 'The Beatles' "Penny Lane" outta of the top slot of the Billboard Hot 100 for three weeks. This fabulous tune was rejected over a dozen times before 'The Turtles' jumped on it. Imagine that! Looks like persistence not only pays off in a extraordinary marriage but in great songs too, for now I can bound joyfully and sing, "we are so HAPPY TOGETHER!!!"

Love ya and happy anniversary Farm Boy!!!

WHY CAN'T EVERYDAY BE LIKE CHRISTMAS

Grinnin' like a hungry cat who just landed in a well stocked Aviary, her shinin' faced beamed as she said, "today I'm marrin' your son and you will really be my mom." December 1, 1995 , Geek Son married The Latin Lovin' Hillbilly and we gained another daughter. Our family was blessed more than Christmas dinner after the fast at a monastery when this one joined our happy clan.

On December third my sweet Mother-In-Love celebrated her 84th birthday surrounded by family and a big old cake piled high with icin'. Doesn't that smile just light up a room? Born in 1927, this lovely lady has seen more in our world than most of us could wrap our brains around. She is now livin' in an assisted livin' facility and lovin' it more than a fly loves sticky buns on Christmas Mornin'. Mom and my wonderful Father-In-Love would of celebrated their 65th weddin' anniversary on the eighth of December along with my Brother-Out-Law's (just kiddin') 49th birthday.

This handsome dude loves football and the Colts almost as much as he loves that Banana Split Cake. Zacharie is the oldest of our 'bonus' grandkiddos. He's a great big brother to Alexis, Jacob and little Ian. This awesome football player holds down a job as he hold up his grades. My heart bursts watchin' him grow into the super young fella he is. Zach celebrated his 17th birthday on the tenth. Woohoo....party on!!!!

Mischievous as a hyper Blue Heeler pup in a box full of kitties, this happy gent celebrated his birthday on the twelfth of December. This Ozark Farm Chick can't look at Joel without seein' my daddy all over that jubilant face. Oh how that smile melts this gals heart. He's a builder, a scientist and a lover of God. Did I mention he's a climber too? Yep, if we ever lose this one we've learned to simply look up. He climbs walls folks!!!

The Latin Lovin' Hibilly in all her orneriness was born December 14, 1975. Ya need rear view mirrors on the back of your ears 'round this one. Geek Son made his very dramatic entry into this world December 18th, 1974. This Mama's so very proud of the man, husband and father he's become but someone had to put a stop to all these celebrations. As Barney Fife said, "Nip it...Nip it in the bud!"

When our beautiful Social Butterfly found the Monarch of her dreams, ya know the one that made her little heart flutter, flip and go pitty~pat, a December weddin' was brought up. Miss Social said, "Oh no...Mama won't allow anymore hitchins or babies bein' birthed in December." This union took place in January. Ya'll know what happens when Mamas not happy! Heeheehhee! Let me tell ya'll, I've popped more than few proud buttons over this one too! She makes my heart sing.

Our Decembers are packed tighter than a clown car.....then we have Christmas. Here on the Ponderosa we are celebratin' Christmas on December 31st. It truly doesn't matter to this chick what day we celebrate as long as we celebrate together. Shouldn't we all be celebratin' the birth of our Lord and Savior everyday anyway? 'Just sayin'.......

Saturday on the Ponderosa the tree's 1,100 lights will be lit, the Christmas music jammin' in the background, the dinner table filled with all the trimmins and the fresh cider table filled with decant homemade candies. Farm Boy will gather the grandkiddos 'round his big old recliner to read the true Christmas story from the Bible. Presents will be opened as laughter fills the air but most of all we will celebrate Jesus. Yep, like Elvis sang on his October 15, 1957 single and on the United States best sellin' Christmas Album ever, "For if everyday could be just like Christmas, what a wonderful world this would be!" Just like Mr. Presley, I want to always celebrate Jesus each and every day so I ask, "Why Can't Everyday Be Like Christmas?"

GOD BLESS YA'LL. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A VERY WONDERFUL NEW YEAR!!!

SUGAR AND SPICE ( Winner announcement)

Sweeter than Granny Walden's Karo Pie, this little dancin' queen had her Grandma Muzzie's 'Happy Dance' perfected by her first birthday. Born October 14, 2005, little Miss Sarah Grace truly graced our family with her infectious smile and the energy of a Duracell battery.

One glance from those sparklin' chocolatey brown eyes as big as saucers can melt your heart faster than this Ozark Farm Chick can leap over a corral panel with a wild~eyed bovine breathin' down my knickers. This nectarous Fairy Princess is too darn stinkin' cute and knows how to use it baby. Honey Pie will roll those big browns when she's in trouble and say, "I love you Mommy (Daddy)!!!"

Miss Candy coated Pippi Longstockin' broke her little wing flyin' off the arm of the sofa a couple years ago and sported the cutest tiny purple cast. Her Mama, The Latin Lovin' Hillibilly, braided her pigtailed braids 'round a coat hanger for that year's Christmas program. The teen gals backstage had a blast and a half flippin' the braids up...then down each time Gracie was offstage.

Her spiraled curly Shirley Temple look gained her a flower girl position in my nephew's hitchin'. Sarah Grace was most enchanted with the chocolate fountain. It is the factor in most girls dreams isn't it??? I know, I need to hit more of those Chocoholic's Anonymous meetings.

"Oh, my dolly finally came," were the words squealed when she opened the present we handed her. See, Sarah asked for a Hearts for Hearts Nahji from India doll that arrived late the day before her birthday. We left for Texas before Sleepin' Beauty awoke on her big day so she didn't get her dolly 'till a week later. I must confess...Grandma's heart sank like a cement block. I felt baaaaaad!!!

After her dolly came I think ya'll can tell that Miss Gracie had a very happy number six. I swear that smile could light up New York City at Christmastime! Folks, don't let all this syrupy sweetness fool ya though. If the need arises she can be tougher than a two dollar steak takin' both her big brothers down at the knees but most of the time Sarah is sweeter than Charlies Chocolate factory on it's best day.

It was 1963 when an English rock band sang "Sugar and spice and all things nice, Kisses sweeter than wine, Sugar and spice and everything nice, You know that little girl is mine." My little Sarah has a big old piece of my heart and just like The Searchers, I too can belt out how much I love my little" Sugar and Spice !!!"

Ya'll hop on over and congratulate Shug over at 'My Steps Of Faith' who's sweeter than a warm bath filled with decadent Belgian chocolate herself. She is the winner of a signed copy of "Social Climbers" written by that generous Beth over at ' Social Climbers'. Congratulations Shug and a big old Ozark 'thanks' to Beth. Woohoo!!!!

VOGUE (Giveaway)

Uglier than a bucket full of armpits and thinner than an Amish phone book, Farm Boy buys these half starved sale-barn cattle to pretty up and fatten out. Believe me, these hungry bovines eat better than a empty bellied three hundred pound trucker at an all ya can eat buffet when they belly up to the feed bunks here on the Ponderosa. It sure doesn't take these Stravin' Marvins long to plump up and slick out.

Heck, these two beauties could join Beth over at" Social Climbers" for a Monogram Monday. Just look at how these two high society 'it' gals are monogrammed to the kilts. Folks, don't get your bloomers in a bundle, these ladies were previously monogrammed prior to landin' on the Ponderosa.

Shockin' as an electric fence durin' a thunderstorm, this Ozark Farm Chick was once a sorority girl herself! Yep, I've climbed a social rung or two myself but these days I'm a bonafied 100% Farm gal. Now, if ya'll a want in on the well kept secrets of the Main Line Socialites, I've got the book for you! Even an country lass from the Ozark Mountains can run with chic elites sportin' names like Bibby, Coco and Lilly followin' Beth's advice. Do ya feel as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar dropped smack in the middle of a social settin'? The 'Preppy Bible' holds the key to your grip on scalin' the social ladder.

That sweet generous Beth over at" Social Climbers "is givin' one of my lucky readers a signed copy of her book "Social Climbers". Now, if that won't sweeten your bitter tea! All ya have to do is comment. That's it. I love the KISS method. Ya know, 'keep it simply sister' but please go visit this special blogger and say 'howdy'! Go, put your feet up and sit a'spell.

In 1990 the real 'it girl', Madonna, wrote and sang, "All you need is your own imagination...So use it that's what it's for...go inside, for your finest inspiration...Your dreams will open the door." This hit song is an upbeat dance~pop tune with heavy influences of the seventies disco era. After readin' Beth's book, you too will be strikin' a pose and singin' "Vogue !!!"

Ya'll have a blessed and beautiful Christmas.
" Social Climbers" can be purchased at Amazon.com.