U.G.L.Y.

There are different degrees of ugly. The dictionary defines ugly as unpleasant to look at. There's putrid ugly, dog awful ugly or abhorrently ugly. Yet, I am having great difficultly finding the adjective to create a image of the depths of ugliness I am trying to describe.

Hubby just wants to go fishing. He has about a two month window to fish for the type of fish he most enjoys catching and Loan Shark (bass boat with OB motor) is awaiting a rebuild. So a week ago after church we took off to look at the boat Hubby found on Craig's List. It was 90 miles away and a nice sunny Sunday Ozarks afternoon drive. Hubby had obviously seen pictures of this thing because I did not see the horror in his face that I felt succumb mine. I did hear him mumble something like, "well it is kind'a ugly," as we turned in the drive of the boats owner. Now don't get me wrong, the boat is an older Bonanza model that is in immaculate condition but indescribably ugly it is. It has to do with the stomach churning infants dirty diaper yellow color all over and get this EVERYTHING MATCHES !!!!!!

My heart sank as the deal was made and the boat was latched to be back of our pick-up knowing that we had 90 miles to pull that thing before we arrived home. I tried to make myself invisible not noticing the people pointing, laughing and holding up cell phones. You could just hear their jeers and comments like," Mabel , ya won't believe what I am looking at right now!" Yep, I was really trying to ignore my surroundings when hubby proudly announces , "Hey, we are drawing attention!" I just slumped further down in my seat and pretended not to notice.

Today Ugly makes her maiden voyage. Hubby is taking a friend to the lake who is not sporting a disguise. It must be a man thing because when you see me on the lake I will be the incognito chick with make-up on under her Groucho glasses , mustache and cap catching the biggest fish in the ugliest boat.