Thursday, September 10, 2009

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST



UGH! Sulfuric acid propelled from glands using strong muscle tissue that spew oily fine yellow droplets up to fifteen feet with a musk odor that lingers for days. Gagging and gasping for breath, the penetrating stench can cause temporary blindness and nausea creating a fragrance so undesirable that even the La'Pews cannot bear it. The predatordeterrent substance is next to impossible to wash off. In a nutshell it STINKS....STINKS with strength and passion.

Did ya'll know there are four different varieties of skunk? The spotted and striped polecats live everywhere in the United States. The hooded and hog-nosed skunks prefer a sunny warm vacation type climate found in Arizona, Texas and New Mexico. The Ponderosa is blessed with the stripped varmints who have litters in May and June consisting of 3-10 kittens. Did your catch that? I repeat, there could be a family of twelve scent bombs thriving under my not so mulberry essence flavored home. As you know from previous posts, we are desperate people and desperate measures must be taken.

I believe I said this farm chick was not stupid or adventurous enough to set a live trap. Ya know how 'they' always say never say never or you will eat your words. Well grab me up a fork and spoon 'cause I'm chewin' on those words now! We sat an older live trap with a L-o-N-g rope tied to it and night one had a big old mama size stinker caught by 11:00pm. Hubby ran out in lounge shorts, boots with shotgun and mag-light in hand. As he was dragging the critter away from the house the trap turned over and let she-skunk go. I heard shots but have you ever tried to shoot a speeding skunk in the dark? Plan spoiled as the plot thickens.

Next evening Hubby brought a costly new fangled foolproof live trap. By bedtime we had a famished teenage female trapped. Grabbing the 22 Hubby got the shot this round but not without shootin' a small hole in our costly new fangled foolproof trap. Heaven knows we don't want to shoot our new prized possession full of holes so a new plan is formed. Saturday morning before a family wedding we had another teen captured where the new and improved plan was implemented. Drag jailed La'Pew away from the house and cover the cage with a tarp so it can be picked up for the baptismal. Hubby carried the tarp covering himself to shield his hunky bod from anything the skunk may want to share.(Oh, please dear God let me go to this wedding smelling like Cinnabar) It was a pure guessing game for Hubby when dropping the tarp in just the right spot to cover the cage. He loaded the prize up and off to the pond they went. Hubby ordained himself and baptized the stinkin' sinner. At present time the score is Ponderosa 3.....La'Pews.....???

This chick is ready for this saga in her life to end. Did ya realize they use the pelts of skunks to make fur coats? Yep, they call 'em Alaskan Sables. We have to make sure all our tenants are eradicated before sealing the hole they have dug under the trap door but if you spot a temporary blind Ozarks farm chick gulping Pepto-Bismol showing off her new fancy Alaskan Sable you'll know, "Another One Bites the Dust!"
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30 comments:

  1. Sounds like some smelly business lol :)

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  2. It appears there are all sorts of enemies against which there's sometimes need to use a gun. and in darkness.
    Let's hope for 'peaceful' solutions for everything, in every case.

    Have a Happy Day!

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  3. Oh, Lordy, yes I know about skunk pelts.

    As a child, in grade school, my Mother created the most beautiful coat, muff & hat for me which I was sooooooo proud of. Iy was trimmed in skunk. Well, in the wet fall & winter weather the pelts got wet and STANK to highness unknown! Everyone didn't want to get near me, I was heartbroken. Eventually, my wonderful items were given away.

    Cute story of our encounters. The other night I saw this animal in our front yard & went out to see what it was ... the biggest (small dog size) skunk I've ever seen stopped & we glared at each ... then I stomped my foot & it took off ... we were about 12' from one another.

    TTFN~ Marydon

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  4. Nezzy ~ Did you click on the link to view the wonderful post pictures & story. I hope so. LMK TY fo rpopping by. TTFN ~Maydon

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  5. Aw does that mean you killed him/her? I've always wanted one for a pet. Don't hate me. And please don't find me to give me said pet.

    :)

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  6. Nezzy--

    You are a nut. I was hoping when I recognized
    the skunk that they were all gone but it sounds like you are getting there!
    The picture you paint of the hubby in lounge shorts and boots with the rifle just cracks me up!!!!!!!

    Love ya!

    Melinda

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  7. I'm a city gal, so I don't understand how you can kill a trapped thing. However, I do understand that you'd like it to choose another place to live.

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  8. Way to go hubby...he sounds like a man on a mission who won't let hell or high water or wardrobe issues stop him. We had raccoon issues here a few years back. I suppose they aren't as bad, or at least not as smelly, as skunks but they are smelly and nasty and noisy at night. It took about 2 years, but they finally all got trapped and supposedly sent to some kind of raccoon haven far, far away...yeah, sure.

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  9. Too funny, I know, you are not laughing! Did you know some home owners insurance covers getting the skunk smell out of the house? Only Rodent damage they cover.

    I was going to suggest the water but I see you guys figured it out. Good job!

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  10. oh my...we have skunks in our area too...so I can so relate to the smell..hope that is the last of them for awhile.

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  11. Oh my Nezzy. Years ago we had a skunk problem too and it's not much fun. I grew up in the country so I know all about taking care of skunks~ Thanks for stopping, Hugs, Cindy

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  12. DO NOT - I repeat - DO NOT offer a giveaway in the near future which features lovely black and white fur pillows! We will all know what you're up to!

    PS - Happy for you that you've begun the process of de-skunking the homestead; hope it's over with soon!

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  13. A page from one of my kids' favorite books goes --

    What is the stinkiest thing in the world?

    A skunk convention!

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  14. Nezzy.... thank you so much for putting my friend Jed on your church's prayer chain. My eyes are brimming with tears over your doing this. Thank you so very much!!!

    Ps: I used to collect skunk figurines, stuffed animals, etc from the time I was a baby.... still have a few in my home!! One of my nicknames is Sweet Pea!!!

    Peaceful blessings to you ... thank you again!

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  15. Ummmm, skunks don't live in the desert I don't think so just in case you decide to ship them elsewhere, I'll pass!

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  16. Not a fan of skunks. Here in the panhandle there are quite a few and one of my dearest friends, who is quite little susie homemaker (even before she was married) made muffins and brought them to school when we were in high school. well, i took one bite of her typically delicious "feather light muffin" and tasted nothing but skunk. it was AWFUL! her parents' house had been sprayed that morning and no one had told her about the muffins...thanks for visiting my blog. i'll get right on that trip to the Ozarks! have a great weekend!

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  17. Thanks for your visit! Wow! What a mess with the skunks!! Yikes! There isn't to much else that smell as bad as their scent!! Whew!! Hugs Grams

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  18. Yikes.... skunks are definately tenacious little buggers for sure. Sounds like your getting on top of them finally. Tammy

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  19. Wow! I hope I never have to round up skunks. Good luck and I hope it's over soon.

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  20. You are an awesome storyteller! I don't blame you one bit for getting rid of your critters, hope you have seen the last one. Have a nice weekend!

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  21. All I can say is what an ordeal! When we were kids and some one "took care" of a skunk nearby we always held a fresh piece of Juicy Fruit Gum under our noses. Just a thought...Take care, Susan

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  22. Uck!!! When I see a skunk I actually start praying for protection. Uck!! Keep fighting the good fight (uck)

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  23. Eeeewwwww....yuck. Gives me the heebie-geebies even thinking about skunks. We get them around here from time to time but I've never actually seen one alive. They're usually smashed in the street b/c they were stupid enough to attempt to cross a busy street at the wrong time.

    I wanted to thank you for the sweet comments you leave for me on my blog! You are always so encouraging....thank you for that!

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  24. I second what Sandy said. Any black and white furry giveaways will be a dead giveaway...or something like that.

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  25. Thanks for visiting my blog today about the cookie gun. Your skunk/sable post is hysterical. They are cute little animals from afar!
    Joyce

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  26. my daughter is reading a book about a skunk adventure right now...
    i hear that when you take out their stinker-sacs...they can make great pets
    ;)

    have a blessed sunday~
    chasity

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  27. Peeeee-ewy! Nezzy, you can even make a skunk story exciting. Three things I don't miss from living north of where we are: cold weather, dirty snow, and skunks.

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  28. If the live trap is smaller they won't be able to spray..but the tarp and a dip in a lake works wonders..I knew someone who gassed them with carbon monoxide fumes once ..then shot them. Some people say if you shoot them just right they won't spray..
    I wish you good luck as there is nothing worse than getting skunked:(

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  29. Ew, I sure don't envy you this problem... we have skunks out here, but I've/we've been very lucky with no encounters in a year's time. Ringo (our chocolate lab) got skunked a few years ago. He's got a few opossums for himself (those brave opossums thought they could snitch some of his dog food... big mistake!) but I think maybe he learned to leave the skunks alone?!

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  30. UGH! I didn't know there were different kinds! Up to 10 kittens?! YIKES. I sure hope your mamma stinker wasn't that fertile.

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