ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

UGH! Sulfuric acid propelled from glands using strong muscle tissue that spew oily fine yellow droplets up to fifteen feet with a musk odor that lingers for days. Gagging and gasping for breath, the penetrating stench can cause temporary blindness and nausea creating a fragrance so undesirable that even the La'Pews cannot bear it. The predatordeterrent substance is next to impossible to wash off. In a nutshell it STINKS....STINKS with strength and passion.

Did ya'll know there are four different varieties of skunk? The spotted and striped polecats live everywhere in the United States. The hooded and hog-nosed skunks prefer a sunny warm vacation type climate found in Arizona, Texas and New Mexico. The Ponderosa is blessed with the stripped varmints who have litters in May and June consisting of 3-10 kittens. Did your catch that? I repeat, there could be a family of twelve scent bombs thriving under my not so mulberry essence flavored home. As you know from previous posts, we are desperate people and desperate measures must be taken.

I believe I said this farm chick was not stupid or adventurous enough to set a live trap. Ya know how 'they' always say never say never or you will eat your words. Well grab me up a fork and spoon 'cause I'm chewin' on those words now! We sat an older live trap with a L-o-N-g rope tied to it and night one had a big old mama size stinker caught by 11:00pm. Hubby ran out in lounge shorts, boots with shotgun and mag-light in hand. As he was dragging the critter away from the house the trap turned over and let she-skunk go. I heard shots but have you ever tried to shoot a speeding skunk in the dark? Plan spoiled as the plot thickens.

Next evening Hubby brought a costly new fangled foolproof live trap. By bedtime we had a famished teenage female trapped. Grabbing the 22 Hubby got the shot this round but not without shootin' a small hole in our costly new fangled foolproof trap. Heaven knows we don't want to shoot our new prized possession full of holes so a new plan is formed. Saturday morning before a family wedding we had another teen captured where the new and improved plan was implemented. Drag jailed La'Pew away from the house and cover the cage with a tarp so it can be picked up for the baptismal. Hubby carried the tarp covering himself to shield his hunky bod from anything the skunk may want to share.(Oh, please dear God let me go to this wedding smelling like Cinnabar) It was a pure guessing game for Hubby when dropping the tarp in just the right spot to cover the cage. He loaded the prize up and off to the pond they went. Hubby ordained himself and baptized the stinkin' sinner. At present time the score is Ponderosa 3.....La'Pews.....???

This chick is ready for this saga in her life to end. Did ya realize they use the pelts of skunks to make fur coats? Yep, they call 'em Alaskan Sables. We have to make sure all our tenants are eradicated before sealing the hole they have dug under the trap door but if you spot a temporary blind Ozarks farm chick gulping Pepto-Bismol showing off her new fancy Alaskan Sable you'll know, "Another One Bites the Dust!"