When your main vocation is a farm wife one ends up doing things dangerous and unheard of out there in the normal realm of things. I have often asked hubby, "you want me to do WHAT?????" I have driven farm equipment I've had no business motoring around the ponderosa and held up the manure covered tails of young bulls so they could lose their manhood. Get the picture? Yep, this gal has earned the title of being one hundred per-cent farm wife.
I passed the kitchen window this afternoon to spot two very large Angus bulls in the bottom pasture where they do not belong. Of course hubby is on the lake with UGLY (the ugliest boat in the world) today so I decide to handle the problem alone. This would not generally bother me except the youngest of the two freight liners has the personality of an angry badger. He can throw that head up and put everyone over a fence faster than a kangaroo with it's tail on fire. The older one is enormous yet easier going although I have seen him toss one of those ton hay bales in the air over his head as easy as if it were a marshmallow.
I had to quickly devise a plan that would leave me alive and on my feet. I do not own one of those, "help I've fallen but I can't get up ," things. I put the cows in the pasture freeing the working pen and opened those gates thinking they're guys they will go where they can be closer to the gals. Good plan, right? I then ran down the road to open the gate from the bottom then raced to the house so they could not plot to mow me down. I peered out the living room window as the two beefcakes walked down to road into the drive and in the gates opened for them. Wow, am I good or what? I then trotted out my back door and closed the gate on the somewhat unhappy stud-muffins. Cattle tend to freak when they realize they have been captured. Kinda' like a man when the word marriage is mentioned. Now the problem is , how do I open the gates and not be the brunt of aggression of these two unhappy campers? They would not move away from the gate that supplied them freedom to the ladies. I swallowed my fear, unchained the gates and swung them open throwing myself up and over the working pen as I watched the two strut their stuff for the ladies.
I was pretty pleased with myself. Things on a farm seldom go as planned. Did I mention I practiced praying without ceasing from start to finish? Walking back to the house I was thinking it is never just me against the world. Hey, it is me and God against the world and with God I can do anything. Look out world!
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