Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I have accepted a towheaded 3.5 year old boy into our Children's Church upon Grandmas request. She wants the little guy to receive instruction on the word instead of playing in the nursery. My guidelines are K-6 but this little fella sits well so we included him into our little group.

He was going to sit up front with us on this glorious communion Sunday during song service. I asked Grandma if she wanted him to partake with the group and she replied with the expected answer of," NO!" We proceeded our song service followed by communion. As the sacraments were passed out, the little gent did not understand what was going on and why he wasn't getting a snack. I continued to explain why we have communion and what the sacraments represent. Grandma just wanted him to be OLDER before he participated. Seeing his confusion one of my 6 year olds leaned forward and very eloquently explained the whole scenario again to the bewildered child on a level that made my heart swell with pride.

I could see the little fella' pondering and processing all the information we stuffed into his little brain. Then gazing up with his big bright blues, he elbows me and says in a voice that lets me know he has figured this whole communion thing out.... "SO, THAT STUFF MAKES YOU OLD, HUH???" ......and a child shall lead us. LOL!!!

Monday, March 30, 2009


I have some catching up to do. I had this silly vision when the children were raised and we became empty nesters I would have an abundant amount of time on my hands. Sooo not true! I spent the first of last week taking my MIL for eye surgery and the last of the week taking care of my perfect and very intelligent grandchildren. ( Yes, they really are gifted.) Of course deep clean Friday had to be moved to the middle of the week. My type-A personality would not allow me skip that. Due to my full week and the absence of blogging, I will begin where this chapter needs to start to give the story the information it deserves because it takes a real ugly turn later on.

The update on the bass boats outboard motor is an ongoing matter. I understand why they call a boat a she. She has to be pampered and stroked just right or she will not perform, the maintenance is very high as I am finding out on myself as I age, especially from the neck up, and she is just a very fickle creature. ' This sounding familiar girls? At this point I am simply calling her LOAN SHARK. Hubby has replaced the water pump, had the starter rebuilt, taken the motor apart and cleaned her up and still she would not preform. He said she was not getting the water she needed so he hooked up the hose and ran it backwards through her inners and water blew from her carburetor like a pregnant woman with morning sickness. By the horrified look on hubby's face I knew that this was not a good thing and probably more expensive than this farmer could handle here at planting season.

Wednesday evening as we were eating the tacos hubby had hinted for, (" Ya' know ya used to make those really good tacos, the ones with the hard shells..."), my very optimistic positive hubby would gaze out the dinning room window where he could set sight on Loan Shark and growled. I was shocked!!! This man has an attitude of , "It'll beee- allrrright," no matter what comes his way and he is growling every few seconds at this boat like a junkyard dog. I think I realized how bad it really was when he was on Craig's list checking out other boats that evening. Somehow I don't think this is going to be alright. G-R-R-R-R-R!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


If anyone questions the existence of God, all one has to do is open his eyes on a spring day. Yes, I awoke Friday on vernal equinox to a beautiful morning in the Ozarks. (You CAN actually stand an egg on end during equinox.) I watched as a pair of deeply colored bluebirds were busy gathering furnishings for a home in the birdhouse just beyond my bedroom window. As I continued my deep clean Friday, I gazed through the sunbeams streaming through the living room window to the ornamental pear tree adorned with flowers like a fluffy mound of cotton candy. The earths canvas is coming to life. Only God can paint the earth with all this glory, I call it spring.

Last night I heard peepers singing their melodies from the pond. The reptiles are awakening to life after a long hard winter. This morning as I was restocking the woodpile, (hence forecast, cold front...hinting for snow, burrrr...), I lifted a log that had a snake snuggled beneath it. Now granted, it was a tiny snake that looked just like a copperhead. I have been told that baby blacksnakes look just like the dreaded copperhead and how beneficial it is to have blacksnakes on a farm but I believe ALL snakes are evil. Yep, the only good snake in my world is a dead snake. I whacked that little devils brains with the wood in my hand the proceeded to stomp it with my husbands manure stompin' boots until the thing lay lifeless. Feeling all the while that I had just defeated Satan because I don't like spiders or snakes. Welcome Spring!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Mickey has been running laps around the ceiling of our family room despite my efforts to deliver him a lethal dose of poison. I have really exhausted my creativity in concocting various potions.(check blog Mickey Thrives below) He is defiantly packin' on the pounds dining on the gourmet delicacies I have served up. He now sounds like Bigfoot dancing to the rhythm of the birds chirping outside my window.

This morning around 2:30am a horrific noise made me sit straight up in bed. I will emphasise the word HORRIFIC. It even woke hubby who sleeps through hail storms and tornadoes. The monster was running, gnawing ,turning somersaults and back flips in our duct work. A real acrobat that Mickey. Hubby turned on the oldies to scare the monster away. Mickey likes music, he just found the beat to go with his routine. I spent the morning making sure every vent was tight and had sufficient poison under it. I walked around the exterior of the house checking for crawl holes and tunnel unders. I found none of the above.

Tonight I will retire hoping for a good nights shut-eye. Hubby has a plan of using the boats blow horn to drive Mickey out of Ireland. That sounds restful. Have you ever heard those things? They are loud enough to resurrect the dead. So, an evenings rest full of sweet dreams with lions and tigers and Mickey........I don't think so!!!!

Sunday, March 15, 2009


When our children were very young we bought the first of many donkeys for the old ponderosa. Their main vocation is to protect the cattle from coyotes and other unwanted critters. Chocolate Drop, who we lovingly call Chalky, is one unique creature! He has been known to do many unbelievable things such as picking the lock on a barn and opening an old deep freezer containing sacks of feed to enjoy a snack. Chalky loves eating more than anything else. I could easily fill a book on the antics of this creature.

Deep clean Friday as I was pouring myself into many cleaning tasks around the homestead,( I am happiest when I have a half of dozen things going on at once), a commotion attracted my attention coming from the weaning pen where we had allowed Chalky to reside temporarily. It just was easier to let him in than trying to keep him out of the calves we were feeding. Did I mention he loves to eat? Chalky was running around the corral biting this poor heifer (teenage female calf) on the neck. This is a courting ritual that is custom in the donkey dating system. They ran around the pen chased by all the other weaned calves like kids chasing a ball on a soccer field. Soon the mothers of these teens surrounded the pen as if to be cheering them on vocalizing with their loud bellows. I watched as Chalky mounted this poor defenceless girl as if he were the studly steed he thought he was. Trying to make this something of a natural phenomena , I assumed the poor girl was in heat and Chalky was just doi'n what comes naturally. I let my mind wander. Would this new creation be called a doncow or a cowkey??? Knowing this could never happen, I enjoyed letting my imagination play with what a child from these two would look like. Oh, what fun I was having with the pictures in my mind! It really does not take much to entertain me.

I shared what I what I had observed with my hubby on his arrival from work when he informed me the sweet young thing I was calling a heifer was indeed a steer (male calf who has lost his manhood). Ewwwwww! Yep, this blond farm chick did not check out the plummin'. I explained my thoughts on this matter and hubby said it was a male dominance thing. That boys will be boys and Chalky would be banned from the feeding pen he loves so well due to his actions. Today this Macho Man just stands at the gates mourning the loss of his feed buffet just awaiting a chance to charm his way back in. Knowing this donkey, he will do just that.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Among the many hats I wear I am the preteen Sunday School teacher at our church. ( The tweens are a challenging age) I also have the privilege of being the Children's Church director of which I am very passionate about. This gives me the honor of touching many little lives. This hat I wear very seriously.

Our church partakes in communion once a month. Last month I had a vibrant little six year-old boy who had only attended church services once during his short little life. This little visitor was in services his first time at our church on communion Sunday. Most of my children have accepted Jesus in their young little hearts and participate in communion. Not wanting this child to be bewildered to what was taking place I began asking him questions during song service.

The first question I asked was if he knew what communion was. He looked at me with a sparkle in his big brown eyes and volunteered, " I don't know what communion is....but I know what community is!" Knowing I have my work cut out for me, I begin sharing Jesus and salvation with this little guy.

As I was sharing my heart the child looks up at me and states far beyond his years, " I believe in Jesus....I really want Him in my heart....I just don't know how to get'em in there." With a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye I took the little lad by the hand and led him from the sanctuary to find a quiet corner to pray . This little child of God openly asked Jesus into his willing heart in a quite corner of the church that day, got up and participated in his first communion.
He has been in church ever since that day activity seeking the lessons of God.

How much better would our world be if only as adults when we heard that soft knocking on our hearts we would simply open the door? Be it for salvation , the nugging to visit a neighbor or blessing a stranger who crosses our path. How often do we keep our door locked? Knock-knock......Whose there???.....Jesus.....Please take the lead of a child and open that door. You will be blessed.


Yesterday was the perfect beautiful spring Ozark day. The sun was warming the calls of the birds whose songs had that mate attracting tone to them. My 38 rose bushes have put forth tiny new leaves pushing from their canes. The perennials have burst forth from the earth adorning her with hundreds of crowns casting green visions of warm weather. Yes, you read this correctly, I said hundreds....this is due to my COFD. (Compulsive Obsessive Flower Disorder) This beautiful day was given to us to bask in and enjoy to the depths of our bare little toes. I put on the summer tee, shorts and flip-flops and began to doing just that. Pushing aside the weather report and forgetting for just a few hours it is not really spring.

Our local forecast was calling for 75-80 degrees with approaching storms consisting of damaging winds, hail, heavy downpours and possible tornado activity. Following the storm would be a severe temperature drop of 40 degrees in about four hours. OUCH!!! Knowing this is probably an accurate prediction of our forecast I deemed it time to prepare for the upcoming event. So here I am in my cute summer tee, bouncing ponytail, shorts and flippies carrying in firewood for the approaching cold front. As I am working as diligently as a colony of ants, I have beads of dew building up on my forehead. Thinking here I am in shorts, sweating like crazy and carrying firewood...what is wrong with this picture?

Like a fine tuned prophet the storm moved in laced with rain, thunder and furious straight line winds dropping the mercury like a rock from a high rise. After filling the fireplace last night the thermometer read 29 degrees as I trotted off to my heated water bed.

I arose at 5:00 am to a 17 degree day, soooo not yesterday! I pulled the sweatshirt, long leggings and socks out to snuggle in today. I put away the shorts, summer tee and flip-flops. But not too far away, for I know as the warm comforting chili simmers on the the burner today, like a flash another spring day will arrive.

Monday, March 9, 2009


Approximately a year and a half ago my husband was in search for a working outboard motor for his bass boat. He located one on eBay that met all of his specifications and proceeded to bid on the dream of having this 90 horsepower monster propelling his boat around the lake. After spending some time and moo la he announced , "I won it on eBay!!!!" ( as wives we understand that-cha-ching$$$) The motor arrived and was installed on the boat by people who specialize in such things along with other little fixes and tweaks.(more cha-ching$$) Finally, the boat was ready for a summer of fun fishing. Due to many planned and unplanned events the boat did not see water last summer. Things like my MIL severely burning a hand while catching her house on fire. Said Mil's foot surgery, a remodel on a bedroom and bath, the list goes on. This year would be different. I arose this very windy Saturday morning to put on my make up, which my husband knows I must do before I go fishing , ate breakfast and headed to the lake for a fun filled day of fishing. Tied to the dock my hubby had some difficulty starting the motor and took the cover off it to do something manually while I drove the boat. Well the thing died. We went through the same process repeatedly getting further away from the landing . There was a point I mentioned the thing was smoking and my hubby said, "no worries just a little too much oil." Then came the strong stench of something hot, which only got worse. The water pump was out. We were sitting on the lake stranded with only two paddles to get us from point A to point B. Working madly against the wind we were getting nowhere fast. I began looking for that good Samaritan but sadly boat after boat just went around us. Just as I was about to give up all hope a nice fellow and his grandson stopped and asked if we could use a tow. YES! At this point I was a very happy camper. We tied onto the generous fellas boat as his motor started his steering cable broke. Now there we sat on the lake stranded now tied to another boat that was dead in the water. Believe it or not another good Samaritan did come along asking if we had a problem. Well dah, wasn't it obvious??? This gent tied his boat to the boat we were latched to and began towing all of us back to the dock. The boat parade had begun. We were gaining spectators at this point. My thought here was every parade needs a queen and who better than I? I began waving my best window washing wave to everyone watching and taking pictures on their cells. Good thing I applied the make-up because who would have thought when we left the house Saturday I would be queen of my own parade. All because hubby won on eBay.

Friday, March 6, 2009


Today is deep clean Friday. It is the day that everything that did not get spiffed up through the week gets it today. Ya know, the toilet, whirlpool jets, furnace filter, the back of the dryer and the faucet screens. I actually love to clean finding it quite soothing.(Note: type-A personality) The past four days the outside temperature has ranged from a low of 11 to a high yesterday of 74 degrees. Yep, in Missouri the temperature gauge can switch faster than a menopausal woman. I also love to work outside in my many flower gardens of which I am quite addicted to. Today's forecast calls for 80 degree weather and it's deep clean Friday. What shall I do??? I started this morning inside like a wild woman with the cleaning and laundry. Running around like a Tasmanian devil, I set timers so I could fill the tub..whrrrr...to clean while I dusted and picked up. As the tub ran the washer filled and I ran the vac. You get the picture, exhausted by 9:30 I headed out to the wonderful warm sunshine where I weeded and burned, raked and carried. What a wonderful day I've had. This afternoon I plan to dig the old 'kini out of winter storage, put it on my white anemic body and lay out to catch some rays. Who says I have to make a choice? I choose BOTH. At 80 degrees this is something I must do because the weatherman is calling for snow on Thursday and there will be another deep clean Friday.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Occasionally I hear the pitter-patter of little feet in the ceiling above our family room. Yes, a pesky little rodent has decided to take up residence over my head, invite friends and family to hold parties and foot races. This sets me into action. I grab the mouse poison and place some under the house which usually takes care of the problem. I rotate different types of delicious morsels so the little varmints will not become immune to the stuff. This one is a mouse of a different color. I heard this visitor several weeks ago and placed bar bait under the house. He lived. Next step was the just one bite pellets with no avail. I then put out the poison peanut butter balls. These always work... never failed before. I take the above poisons grind them up, add peanut butter and make little balls. I then place them in a baggie in the freezer for convenient use. My DIL once said, "Mom you kick the bucket we'll be dippin' those things in chocolate and eating them." (I have them well labeled.) Needless to say my tried and true method failed. I then took the advice I once received from an exterminator and coated some granola with quick set cement and offered it to my guest. No matter what I have tried it seems to be the drug of choice for Mickey who seems to be thriving and having an exciting life.

Monday, March 2, 2009


The reading of the critters was an accurate forecast of our weekend weather. Saturday morning we arose to a blizzard. Feather sized snowflakes fell upon the earth like a pillow fight from Heaven. The snow came fast and furious and it was cold, so......cold. My husband thought this would be an excellent opportunity to pull out the bass boat and get it all spiffed up for the upcoming warm weather. I have a little trouble wrapping my head around this concept. Snowstorm....fishing boat???? He expelled his prized procession from winter storage and pulled it down our snow covered dirt road then carefully backed it into our drive to work on it. As he carefully maneuvered it into the spot perfect for spiffing up he heard a noise that he wasn't suppose to hear. Somehow bumping down the wintry road, the motor was released where the propeller and the propeller guard dropped to the grounds surface and broke. Now I have to ask , "Isn't the job of a propeller guard is to guard the propeller?" As the winter precept was piling up, he ordered a new propeller and some other treasures enhance his fishing experience. He too has visions of spring arriving very soon. As the boat sits in the drive blanketed with snow waiting for its new trinkets we know the first warm day that comes along my husband will be casting away somewhere on the lake.
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